The Things That Made You

A Conversation Between Who I Was and Who I Am

I did not think I would live past the age of 25. I do not know what was special about that number, but for some reason I had a hard time even picturing a life past then. When I was younger I’m sure I thought that 25 was old in a way, and that I would be lucky to get there, but this number just stuck in my head for a reason. There have been times in my life where living was the hardest thing I had to do every single day. I lived with a mentality of not seeing into my future or where I would end up one day.

Fast forward to turning 26, I did not know what to do with myself. Logically, I understood that life would continue, yet there was a nagging feeling that I was embarking into unprecedented territories. At first I began to feel as though I was living on borrowed time, waiting for some sort of impending doom. Yet through much work and regulation, I have abandoned this idea of dying young, and decided to live more in the embrace of where I am.

This week’s poem comes from a place of surprise and joy for making it this far. It is a celebration for continuing to live life. A letter to myself from myself. I invite you to find your story among the stanzas as well.

It is a wonder
That you are here
I never thought
We’d make it this far

Tell me how
You made it
Through those things
I thought would end us

Is it worth 
All the pain
In the process
Of becoming?

Pull up a chair
Get comfortable
Take a deep breath
Be here with me

And tell me the stories
Of these things
Which made me
Into you

Glad to be here, messy and all :)